I graduated high school at 16, something that seemed completely normal to me at the time, and now as I launch my own kids to college feels WAY too early. Thus is the reality of perspective. Of course, I was so much older then…
Back in the dark ages of the 1980s, the process for applying to college was very different – especially for socioeconomically disadvantaged first generation students. For many years, one of my biggest regrets was the fact that I didn’t even attempt to apply to an elite school. Of course, I conveniently forget the fact that this was a very rational decision. The cost to apply was non zero and the possibility of rejection was also non zero, and if I did get in, the cost to attend was so far out of reach as to be absurd. Of course I now know that I would have likely gotten substantial financial aid, but I didn’t learn that bit until my 30s (!). I suspect that was a feature not a bug.
At the time, I consoled myself with the idea that I would attend an affordable state school for undergraduate and then apply to an elite school for an MBA when I had the benefit of some savings (and fewer years of high tuition). Of course, paying off a 10 year student loan necessitated focus on maximizing work (and family) which then made the need for the MBA moot.
When people asked me about advice I would give my younger self, I tend to say things like I would like to tell myself to not worry so much, to believe in yourself more, to trust you will sort it all out. All of this is true, but wouldn’t have worked, because it misses the context of being 16, a first, and not having the type of economic and social safety nets that I have since created. This is another example of how perspective taking is hard.
As I begin my second half of life, I feel a strong pull to reimagine opportunity equity.
As pre-work, I’ve been investing the time and energy to fully appreciate both where I come from and how to re-think the structural barriers for high-performers from underrepresented populations.
One of the big benefits of a Sabbatical [for me] is the opportunity for reading and reflecting – connecting dots from a variety of sources to inform my views, leaning into the gift of crystalized intelligence.
I recently stumbled upon this great work by Dr. Ming, specifically this bit (context: why underrepresented accept or reject elite university admission):
The broader thesis of a difference tax explored in this article, is one I’ve also been talking about in the context of professional opportunity (I call it a bias tax). The reality for many, is that the tax is just too high so they self-select out of pursuing bigger goals. I want to say again, I do not believe this is about a confidence gap, I think this is rational decision making(I often like to say it’s really about being good at opportunity math).
We need pioneers and trail blazers to create the path so that success feels possible. These role models matter not only for their own achievements but for the stories they tell and the pattern recognition they unlock. Not just the fun and instagram worthy ones, but also the hard and messy pieces.
The truth is that being a first is hard. Being an only is hard. You often feel alone or unworthy or unsure.
You are judged and against a predetermined success pattern you are definitionally missing. Here is the truth that life perspective also gives – it is your difference NOT your similarity that makes you interesting.
When you stop focusing on the self and start focusing on the other, you re-frame your own self doubt to be about something much more important. You move from a story you tell yourself about what opportunities you might miss, to the paths you forged for those who came after.
In 2014 I wrote about how seriously I took the responsibility of being a role model. In 2024 I double down on that why. Throughout my life, I have been blessed with the belief that I would achieve big things, likely someone told me this in my first years of life. As I recognize the power of this gift, I realize that I have a huge responsibility to elevate the voices, perspectives and needs of the other underrepresented groups.
I still have a lot to learn, but I know that the opportunities I’m committed to unlocking will not be measured in my own lifetime nor will they be created by me – these opportunities will be owned and told by those that come after me and that inspires and sustains me.
There are so many people who have important things to contribute, please consider joining me in asking how we can accelerate their progress.
Comments